- December 21, 2013
- Posted by: Fola Daniel Adelesi
- Category: Calling, Career, Leadership, Mentoring, Motivation
It is very possible you know that something is holding you back and you are trying very hard to make sure you set yourself free. Unconsciously, a lot of people are the ones clinging to the things that are holding them back. You hear them talk and you can tell they have not moved one. You look at the way the live their lives and it is obvious they are living like they are the products of circumstances.
There is a man that I met not too long ago who was not looking so good but seems to have a good life in the past. At some point I got a chance to speak with him and realized that things had suddenly turned around negatively for him. He can’t explain how he moved from where he used to be to where he is now but he admits having some problems.
Unfortunately, all through the conversation he kept talking about his woes and the people he thought was probably responsible for them all. I thought it was okay to say that the first time so that if one could help you would at least know how to help. I only found out that he just would not stop talking about those things that have gone wrong. He kept talking about the problems and how he thought the problem was also orchestrated by his relatives.
Being a natural optimist myself, I could not take all the negative stuff I was hearing from him. They became too much and unfortunately because it is Africa and you are expected to talk to older people in a certain way, I could not scold him properly on how his consistent confession of the negative was more important than the problem or the people he had on mind. I found a nice way to talk to him and make him see that you have to look away from problems and see solutions rather than holding on to what happened.
There are many of us like that who in one way or the other are holding on to the things that have happened in the past. We know those things are not moving us forward but we still held tightly to them. How do you hold unto the things that have been holding you back or how do you know you are holding on to something that’s not letting you progress? When you see these things or signs then you need to check yourself:
1. You always talk about what happened in the past. It means you have not gotten over it.
2. The people who did something to you or you thought may have been responsible are constantly in your conversation. It means you still feel they hurt you and owe you and apology or have a restitution to make towards you.
3. When you see others succeeding you talk about where you could have been if not for what happened!
It is a bad omen and one of the proofs of holding on to what’s holding you back when you never talk about the future.
Things may have happened and may have caused some setbacks for you but it is never an excuse for you to stay back in life! You may also know the people who did those things or caused the setbacks and have gone on to succeed. Stop thinking that it was the set back they caused for you that’s been helping them to succeed all along!
Get up and let go off all the negative stuff you are holding on to. You have a blank cheque ahead of you in the form of days that accumulate into a future! Start living your new life now!
Fola Daniel Adelesi
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