- March 25, 2014
- Posted by: Fola Daniel Adelesi
- Category: Mentoring, Motivation
By virtue of some of my new responsibilities and speaking engagements, I meet people who are willing to share their experiences with me from time to time. There those who tell you about the problems, learn from them as they take counsel and they move on. Unfortunately, there are those who tell you about the problems, repeat the problems and never give you a chance to counsel them and they hardly move forward in life.
I remember the story of an elderly man who seem to have had it good in life at some point but experienced a reversal of fortune. He’s an African who used to live abroad. He said life was good. I don’t know the beginning of his problem but we were in a meeting one day and I was leading the prayers at the meeting. I just felt led to ask one or two people to tell us what they wanted us to pray about for them. When it was this man’s turn, he believed it was his mother and sister that were responsible for his misfortunes. I just told him we would pray for him. I am not the type of person that believes in praying against a particular person and saying they are the ones who cast a spell on you or are responsible for your doom.
After several meetings, this man will tell me how his mother and sister were responsible for his reversal of fortune. Later he told me how it was a woman he met some years back or how it was a church he went to. He went on and on about the problems and those he thought were responsible for the problems. Each time I try to counsel, he would not let me finish. He would remember another part of the story and would pick up the story telling from there again.
After a while I simply had to say that his problem is more of a mindset issue than being under a spell! There are many people like that. They have so many issues to deal with and will never let you help them deal with the real issues. They will always talk about the problems and wear you out with their problems. They would rather have you listen to the problem than solve the problem.
Never get so drawn into your problems that you go around celebrating it. Never get so much into your problem that you wear out every other person with your stories. At first, people may want to listen and also feel sorry for you. After a while they will just become irritated.
You can get over any problem in life. The reason you will get over the problem is not because it did not hurt you or tried to destroy you. You will get over the problem not because it’s so easy to move on but because you are ready to look for a way out. Think about it. The time you even spend thinking, talking and trying hard to convince people that your problem is really big can be used to get you out of the problems.
As you talk about your problems to the right people, talk about it as one who is really seeking solutions and not just complaining. Don’t drain yourself talking about things that have already gone wrong! Energize yourself by thinking, talking, meditating and even acting on the way out. If you do that, you will get over the problems. If not, just talking about the problems to everyone so much so that they are now tired of you just leaves you with other problems. Get over the problems today and move on!
Fola Daniel Adelesi
My books are now available on www.lulu.com/spotlight/foladaniel Please go there to buy. Thank you!
+234 (0)803 416 3006
fola-daniel – Skype
@foladaniel – Twitter
Edible Pen » Public Speaking | Business Development and Management Training | Business Proposals | Consulting| Master of Ceremony | Blog Training | +234 (0)803 416 3006 |email@example.com