- August 3, 2014
- Posted by: Fola Daniel Adelesi
- Category: Marriage, Motivation
One of the most interesting things that you can get involved with in life is marriage. If you are patient enough to learn from those who have gone ahead and you are also patient with the person that is on the journey with you, it is very possible that you will enjoy it at the end of the day no matter the challenges that you go through initially. Marriage is also interesting because in one moment, you see people who are all over themselves and in another moment, the same people hate themselves so much that they never want to see each other.
What is it that you are going through right now in your marriage that makes you conclude you don’t even want to continue in this marriage? Do you think that the other person is not being fair to you? Do you think he or she is cheating on you? Are you the one investing more financially into the marriage? Does it look like you are the only one who committed and trying hard to make this work? Are you even feeling underappreciated in the marriage? You will be surprised to see that you are not the only one feeling that way but those who have kept the marriage and were able to get their desired appreciation did not give up on the marriage.
You should not lose hope on your marriage if you are going to get much out of it. Sometimes when we even tell people not to lose hope on their marriages, it is not just because it is the right thing to do or that we like to sound religious. You should also note that when you lose hope on your marriage without trying your best to save it, a good part of you leaves with the partner in some cases. In other cases, some people don’t just remain emotionally stable after deciding to end their marriages. You need your heart to be whole to function effectively and to give a shot to other things in life.
I know there are so many people out there who look like they are married but when you get into their various homes you will see that they are not married anymore. They are just living together like brothers and sisters. There are couples who don’t talk to themselves but live together. There are couples who are only together because of the children they have had and not because they love themselves.
A few other people are still married to the person they are married to because of some benefits. The benefits may be financial or otherwise. So the person may want to leave the marriage but can’t leave because he or she know what is to be gained or what is to be lost if such decision is taken. One can even safely say that you are married to the person’s money or possessions.
Can you take a moment down memory lane and think about how you started out? Do you remember the promises you made to each other and how you ran from pillar to post each time you heard something was wrong with the other person? What do you think went wrong that you moved from so much love to so much hate?
Maybe I can’t proffer all the solutions that you need but I can help someone out there with this useful advice. It is possible that as a man you have been thinking your money should be enough to take care of her needs. While it is true that you are giving her everything money can buy, you have not been giving her attention. If you want your marriage back in form, stop deceiving yourself about the money and gifts you are showering on her because they will not substitute for your affection, romance or personal care. she wants more of you and not more of the gift.
As for the woman, could it be that you started paying more attention to the baby and not your husband? Some women give all the attention to their husbands while hoping for a child and as soon as the child arrives, the husband becomes a stranger. So it becomes obvious or it looks like it was only the child you wanted after all. You need to change that and not make it look like all you want is a child. Stop punishing your husbands.
Both parties have to check themselves and see what they are not doing right which has started making the other person give up on the marriage. When you started, there was no plan for both of you to just enjoy it for a while and give up on each other. You wanted to enjoy it till death do you part and you can still enjoy that!
Please work out the salvation of your marriage yourself and never lose hope on it because it can work.