- September 3, 2014
- Posted by: Fola Daniel Adelesi
- Category: Motivation, Productivity
In trying to do what other people want and just to make sure that we please them, we unconsciously become an extension of their lives. That is what we are but we don’t even know it. What life of our own do we have when we do not have an opinion of ours in the way we live and the choices that we make?
There are those who live as an extension of their parents’ lives just because they are trying very hard to please them. Others are living as an extension of the lives of their spouses or someone else that they love so much. When you talk to such people you will always hear, ‘my dad said this. My mum said that. This is what my dad wants for me. This is what my mum wants for me. My husband would have loved this. This is what my wife wants.
There is no crime in pleasing the ones you love but you can’t just be an extension of their lives or letting them live another life through you. We sometimes think that we owe it a duty to them to do what they want or what they love. We don’t even seem to realize that as we do what they want or love, we love our own personality totally and nearly become everything they wanted to be.
There is no crime in people guiding us and suggesting to us what they think we can make of ourselves. But there is a big difference is people trying to help us to make the most of our abilities and those trying hard to live another life through us.
Let people talk to you and guide you. let them suggest to you what they think is best for you. it will make a lot of sense for you to take their counsel and be able to move really fast in life. You also need to know that when you take their counsel, you can save yourself a lot of stress and avoid some pitfalls. While that works, you need to be able to draw the line between the person helping you to make the most of your life and the one who is make a film out of your life from what is playing in their heads.
You have a life to live and it’s totally independent of what those other people around you think. If you were to live their dreams for them then you will not be necessary. You will just be another person living the dream that someone has already accomplished. Your own dream is different and your purpose is different. That’s why you still had to come.
We have a chance to make the most of our lives but that will happen if only we will not throw our permission to live into the hands of others. What have you been doing with your own permission to live? Are you using it or give it to others to check it out and decide what should happen?
I don’t know how you have been trying to live your life up until now but you should never, for whatever reason, become an extension of another person’s life. Don’t let them trick you into just being the representation of what they wanted to become but they probably could not achieve or even trick you into become a clone of themselves.
You are such a master piece that must not be given a second place. You deserve a first class honour in life but to get it you have to live your own real life.
Because you will always need to take counsel from people, bear in mind that taking their counsel is good but that you are not compelled by anyone for whatever reason to always do things according to their counsel.