Building on unpleasant experiences | © Fola Daniel Adelesi

If you have read ‘Refraining from experiences’ on my blog then you will understand by now that you can’t choose the experiences that seem good to you and expect to have a great life. You have to walk through the good, the not too good and the very unpleasant ones. It will not be enough for me to just ask you to walk through them. There is something you can make out of them and you should consider these things as you go through that journey.

Those who go through life and only see their negative experiences as negative never learn much. And because they do not learn much they may not make the most of the great experiences they have had. I have talked about having the balanced experience. That means you have had it in the good and the bad times.

If you don’t have this balanced experience, some of your life choices will be wrong to an extent. Some of them will not bring the desired results. You may think you have all it takes but then you realize that something is still wrong somewhere and you will end up with one of those experiences that you don’t like. Why is that so? It is so because you must make the best of decisions about the future from both angles.

Here’s the insight that I think will help you through those experiences that you may not like:

  1. Learning Curve – I don’t think we easily learn much when everything is perfectly alright and as well rosy. We just pick information here and there and sometimes they are not even useful for us. In the unpleasant experiences, we get an opportunity for retrospection – look backwards and possibly try to retrace our steps – or introspection – to look inwards and think deeply. The results of this moment have a great impact, if maximised on our desired future.
  2. Your credibility – When people read a lot of the things that I write, they get inspired. Once in a while I still get those who are sceptical. And I must say I have met people who want to have nothing to do with motivational speakers or anyone who tries to say very inspiring things. A few of them believe that their problems have gone beyond just trying to inspire them. Others just believe that motivational speakers are sweet talkers. They are not aware that you may have heard more terrible experiences than they are going through. So for such people I have come to learn that your best motivation for them is your own unpleasant experiences. If you have had none then it will be hard to inspire such people or to get them to listen to you later.
  3. Can be your earning power – Just like in the corporate world where people are paid for their experiences, you can also gain a higher earning power because of your experiences. When you are going through them they will not be pleasant. You will feel like quitting but when you have gone through them, they can be experiences you have to create products from. There are people who are creating services out of the experiences they have heard and they just suddenly became consultants.
  4. It’s your pride check – If we go through life without any funny experience to share with others, we may begin to see those other people who have terrible experiences as lazy people. We may think that the things happening to them are happening to them because they don’t work hard enough or think well enough. We can start puffing up and think that we got all that we got just because we know exactly what to do. If you have not be fired before you may think that everyone who got fired was fired for misconduct or for low performance. When you get fired with no reasonable excuse from your company despite working hard and leaving no stone unturned then you will see issues from a different perspective. Challenges of life have a way of humbling us and help us to easily empathise with others. If we have not been there before we may just look down on them.

You experiences, the good and the ugly, are for a greater good but the insight you have about them today will determine if you get the greater good or a worse experience. Learn today and move on in life.


About the author Fola Daniel Adelesi

Fola Daniel Adelesi is a professional public speaker who also trains other speakers. He's a highly engaging training facilitator and he holds his large audience spell bound when speaking at gatherings. Apart from his several platforms which include banks, insurance companies and religious organizations where he facilitates trainings, he has been a part of some national television shows and he spoke so intelligently. He's an author, business consultant and highly skilled master of ceremony with excellent poise and diction. He was on the Debaters TV reality show season 1, he presented 'You Can' on Radio Continental in 2011 and he did motivational segments on Galaxy TV from Dec 2008 to August 2009. Fola Daniel has authored at least 5 books including ‘Writing Business Proposals,’ ‘The Mentoring father’ and ‘Get up and hit that goal.’ He talked about Social Media on - An ICT Show on Lagos Television from August 2015 to late 2016. He’s a regular guest on some national tv platforms (including Channels TV and Television Continental) and a delight to their audience. He trained as a communications professional, works as a business consultant and was also trained at Lagos Business School in collaboration with Google as a Digital Business Manager. He is the President and CEO of the Edible Pen Group.

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