CAN WE DO WITHOUT SEX? – Fola Daniel Adelesi

You and I have asked almost the same question over and over again, but nobody seems to be giving us the kind of answers we like hear or they didn’t just want to talk us. It’s really bothering us but people here and there keep arguing it.

I remember I once asked quietly, “if there was supposed to be no sex before marriage, why didn’t God wait till we were ready for marriage before he gave us the reproductive organs?” Don’t get me wrong. I’m not blaming God. I’m only being sincere that I was once eager to prove being a ‘man’, and then I had to ask the question I just told you about.

Sometimes you say, “oh! Sex? But I’m not going to marry in the next 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 years or more! That’s such a long time!” You feel like you are starving and it looks as if something is wrong somewhere. So a number of people cook up lies about impotence to justify being involved in a sexual intercourse.

Nearly every morning the guys wake up and they feel… I don’t know. The guys know, but it’s normal. I’ve been a host of the real struggle because there was always a tussle in my mind where a party says you can do without sex and the other says no. It got really hard that the ‘no’ party won. The tussle didn’t go just like that so I felt I just needed an alternative for sex, so long I was not doing the “main thing”.

That’s why you have a number of guys out there who want to hang around ladies to get over thinking about sex. Unfortunately, the ‘feeling’ gets worse for some. For a while a number of people might forget the issue of sex because they are too shy to discuss it with the opposite sex, but the truth is that when you hang around long enough you will get over the shy nature and you would be back to square one – fighting hard to avoid sex.

Is it true we can do without it when we would see a guy and say, “Whao? He’s got a clean ride and he wears a proper man’s picture – handsome.” You remember how many time you dashed your foot against the stone while you were “just looking…just looking…just looking” at that girl? Worse still, you see somebody getting married and you shout, “I wish it was me.” But the truth is that it’s not you and you are shocked the more when you realize how many years you have to wait before it’s you.

Permit me to give you what you have been fighting against so that it would resonate in your mind. We can do without sex! Sorry if I hurt you. Some have said we must avoid sex before marriage because the bible says so and some said you couldn’t because it’s the emotion that’s pushing out the word from their mouth. Is it easy to just stop or avoid sex because somebody said so? What is the solution?

The simple fact is that you only need to work upon your programmed mentality so you wouldn’t have to think about marriage at age 18 because you want to be free to have sex. Sex or no sex is like a race. There is shame in quitting and there is glory in finishing so think of which one you want. Quitting, you would say, is not that easy, but you were built to control sex. Sex is not to control you. All you have got to do is not to allow temptation collide with opportunity!

About the author Fola Daniel Adelesi

Fola Daniel Adelesi is a professional public speaker who also trains other speakers. He's a highly engaging training facilitator and he holds his large audience spell bound when speaking at gatherings. Apart from his several platforms which include banks, insurance companies and religious organizations where he facilitates trainings, he has been a part of some national television shows and he spoke so intelligently. He's an author, business consultant and highly skilled master of ceremony with excellent poise and diction. He was on the Debaters TV reality show season 1, he presented 'You Can' on Radio Continental in 2011 and he did motivational segments on Galaxy TV from Dec 2008 to August 2009. Fola Daniel has authored at least 5 books including ‘Writing Business Proposals,’ ‘The Mentoring father’ and ‘Get up and hit that goal.’ He talked about Social Media on - An ICT Show on Lagos Television from August 2015 to late 2016. He’s a regular guest on some national tv platforms (including Channels TV and Television Continental) and a delight to their audience. He trained as a communications professional, works as a business consultant and was also trained at Lagos Business School in collaboration with Google as a Digital Business Manager. He is the President and CEO of the Edible Pen Group.


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