I guess it is a lot easier to speak based on how we feel than it is to speak based on how we process our thoughts or the way we ought to speak. Too many people are not where they should be today and one of the most important reasons for that is because they keep speaking based on how they feel.
If your feelings control your tongue, you will either constantly limit your life or constantly get into trouble.
You know that so many people say a lot of things that get them into trouble. When they are in trouble and you start asking them why they said what they said, you will find out they only spoke based on how they felt at that point. There are so many marriages that are in trouble today and the only reason they are in trouble is because one of the partners can’t just keep shut. Aside the fact that they can’t keep shut, they will also speak based on how they feel. That explains why things are falling apart.
Some people have very sharp tongues. When you cross their paths, they will quickly give you a piece of their mind. They will not hesitate to tear you apart. By the time they are done talking to you, you will be left to wonder what actually hit you. While this may make you feel good in that moment, you may soon run into trouble by doing that with the wrong person. You may just find out that you are running your mouth with the person who is supposed to help you with some critical things in your life.
Picture this situation as I share a story someone told me. I am not sure if it was a man or woman who was involved. Let’s just say it was a man. This gentleman was going for a job interview and had a slightly rough encounter with another man in the public bus. I guess the other man step on his toes and that was it. He went on and on until he was satisfied. By the time he alighted from the public bus, he realised that the man he had washed down with his mouth was alighting at the same bus stop. Well, that didn’t matter to him so he went his way. After a while he realised that they seemed to be going in the same direction. They eventually entered the same building. This young man still kept quiet and thought the other man he washed down was also coming for the job interview. By the time the job interview was to commence, he got into the interview room and saw the gentle man he had heavily insulted in the room. It was his interviewer that he had opened the bullets from his tongue on.
I am sure you know you can run your life down or build it up. You can destroy the self esteem of others or build it up just by letting your tongue loose. Things will be a lot better for many of us when we learn how not to talk based on feelings alone.
Many years ago when I was a student, one of our teachers asked someone a question and the person’s answer didn’t make any sense to him. After he tried to process the answer for a while and didn’t see any sense in it, he said, ‘many of you, your mouth runs faster than your brain.’ That’s a simple way of saying you don’t think before talking. That’s what happens when we let our feelings control our tongues.
By the time your feelings control your tongue, you would have said things that shouldn’t be said and most likely can’t be withdrawn. Some parents speak to their children based on how they feel and they irreparably damage their esteem. Most of those children grow up physically but remain children on the inside.
While it may be hard to refrain from saying what you feel, it is what you have to do. It is your sign of maturity and you will save yourself from so many troubles. If you will let your feelings continue to control your tongue, you will get into some troubles that you will have to deal with for the rest of your life.
Fola Daniel Adelesi
President/CEO, Edible Pen.
Public Speaker & Trainer | Author | Management Consultant | Master of Ceremony
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