Over the years I have observed how some people have absolutely depended on getting their help from certain people. They may be their spouses, parents, uncles, aunts, in-laws, business associates or just some person they met in the society. They spend all their energy and resources trying to get help from these people and after so much has been spent, the anticipated help does not come!
It always hurt so bad by the time they realize that the help they had dreams about is finally not coming through. People feel terrible and they sometimes just wish they can change the results of all the years of waiting and depending on someone for help.
Why does it even happen that people just put in their all to get something from someone and they get nothing at the end of they day? I think there are a few reasons for that and they may include:
1. There had been a signal all along that you didn’t catch. This person either didn’t want to help you or you thought he or she was your saviour.
2. You got too attached that you didn’t know when to back out and follow other leads for help.
3. Maybe you think what you want is clearly articulated but to the person it’s not!
4. We also sometimes think we are entitled to the resources of other people and so they MUST help us.
5. It could also be that your parents, relatives or even you have helped this person in the past and you now expect them to help you but they are not!
We need to be absolutely detached from people in a way that we don’t get hurt if they choose not to help us or pretend not to see that we really need help.
It is only when you detach from them that their actions or inactions will not hurt you and you will not have to think about how much time and energy you put into trying to hard to get help from them.
I guess it’s fine if they help you but if you don’t live your life based on the help you can get from them, whatever comes from them will just be a bonus!
That’s why I always tell people to develop themselves, build relationships and network while keeping your faith in God!
Please do not spend your entire life trying to get help from someone! In fact, note that some people only help when they see how far you have gone for yourself! Act on this and your life will be a lot better.
Fola Daniel Adelesi
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