Don’t turn your wife into a maid | Fola Daniel Adelesi

Dear men, you can as well take this as a special note to all of you. This special note has to come because some men act like they can ask or command their wives to do anything since they paid the bride price to marry them. Some men act like they must be treated as Lords just because they’re the men of the house. In such marriages, the women are simply in a house and not a home. They’re in an abusive relationship and not a love relationship.

Let’s clear the fact that no amount of dowry will transfer to you the right to treat your wife anyhow. Marriage is not slavery and the woman wasn’t sold to you. She was released to you to be nurtured and treated well. She was released to you because you both agreed to live together for the rest of your life.

What you have is an agreement to live together so how can you turn yourself into a monster in a relationship with someone that you love? Some men think that they’re doing a lot for their women and they’re even supporting or sponsoring the woman’s family members. On that ground, they want to make her a slave to them.

When you do something for your woman, you’re doing it for yourself. It is not to favour any other person. You are one with your spouse and you should treat her with some measure of dignity. Your wife deserves a lot of respect. She is not a maid or a slave. She might be doing a lot of work at home to keep the home in order, it does not make her a slave and you should never treat her as one.

You need to watch some men and women when you go out. See the way the woman is full of fear for her husband. You also need to see the way some men behave like monsters publicly. You wonder what got into their heads. I remember going on a road one day and a man was publicly beating his wife in the car. Outsiders tried to pacify him but the more they tried the worse it became for the woman.

As a man, if you want to prove you can fight you need to get into the ring and fight professionally. At least that’s going to fetch a lot of money for the family. Don’t turn your wife into a punching bag. It is even a thing of shame to fight your wife, abuse her consistently and even demand sex from her. You are a lot better than that. You’re not a beast and should not behave like one.

Some men say they abuse their wives out of love. You also hear women who have become accustomed to abuse that they defend their abusive husbands. The men make their wives do all the work, take care of the children and never get any form of appreciation.

That woman is your wife and is simply helping you out with all that she is doing. Don’t be too big to say thank you. Appreciate her when she does things in the house. Don’t see those chores as her obligation.  

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