Earlier today I was talking to someone and I can say that the summary of our conversation is the facial expression of suffering. That simply means there are people who are going through certain things in their lives- everyone is – and you dont need anyone to tell you that these ones are suffering. Their facial expression tells you they are practically suffering even though their looks may have overblown the situation.
Let me tell you that I have been in moments of pain. I have had days when I felt the world was coming to an end. There were moments when the pressure to deliver became so high and I just wished I could run away but there was nowhere to run to. All I had to do was to face the challenges head on.
While in those situations, I still woke up on daily basis to write in order to encourage other people. There were people who called me to share their challenges but they had no idea what I was also going through. Bottom line is that there is no time you will see me and ever see a reflection of what I am going through on my face.
I am supposed to be the encourager for so many other people. You may be thinking that is what I am doing for a living so I must encourage people. But I want to say that there are people who are also looking up to you. You cant afford to reflect suffering or challenges on your face just because you are going through stuff. I bet there are people who have not given up not because they do not feel like giving up. The only reason they have not given up is because they see you are still standing. Deep down inside them, they are saying they will make it if you are going through stuff and you are still standing.
Just by keeping on despite our struggles, many of us do not know how many other people we are giving hope and strength to. We probably often think we are doing it for ourselves. I have said to myself severally that I will not give up not knowing that my consistence is what has kept someone around me going. When they walk up to me to talk about how I inspired them to finish up and finish well, I remember how I almost gave up.
So when you give up, maybe not physically but with the expression all over your face, you have unconsciously given someone else the consent to give up. When you start looking like the pains or challenges you are going through, you are permitting others to carry all their problems on their head and never to look forward to a brighter future.
My intention is not to say that you should pretend. I will not ask you, for whatever reason, to pretend and act like all is so rosy when nothing really is. Having said that I will never ask you to pretend, you dont make any situation better for yourself just by having a face that really reflects your suffering.
There are cases of women who have been hoping to get a husband and it was a real challenge for them. They let that get into their head and they carried that label of I am so worried I have not been able to get a husband everywhere they went. Believe me they never got husbands all through the periods when they carried that look.
In fact, some people feel that these women looked more horrible while they allowed the husband issue get into their heads. The moment they relaxed and flowed naturally with the events of life, things became better and the nice gentle men began to walk in.
Some people dont want to be around sad people too. And they might be the people who really want to help you. Again let me sound my caveat. It is very important to look good and wear a smile but when you meet the people who can really help you, bare it all to them. Dont hold back anything. Let them know what you are going through and they will help you if they really can.
While waiting for this help, dont go around with that face announcing to the whole world that you are in a terrible situation. Be yourself always, cheer up as much as you can and speak up where you need to so that you dont die in silence.
Fola Daniel Adelesi
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