I have come to see that many people sincerely want to be judged by their intentions when people can only judge you by your actions. There are so many times we take steps that people don’t understand even though we had good intentions but the actions are wrong. If you want to move on well in life, you must have both good intentions and the right actions!
Some days back there was a discourse in a meeting where I was present and I think this topic just summarises everything the person said. I can totally understand this issue because I have been in situations before where I did something and someone was judging me based on the seen actions. I really felt bad because I though they should see beyond just what happened and be compassionate enough to know that this guy would have done better than this.
Why is this issue of good intentions, wrong actions very important in our lives? You will find out that many times in your office, marriage and other day to day relationships this is what is causing the problems. You do something and your spouse or boss immediately reacts based on what you did because they are not mind readers and cannot read your mind. When you get their reaction you feel bad and in some cases ‘give it back to them.’
So we can say that this is one of the reasons we clash with people on daily basis. This could be one of the simple reasons you have had a protracted fight with your loved one. You both want to get along easily but don’t know what is happening and why you clash so easily.
Now that the issue of ‘Good intentions but wrong actions’ has been brought to your consciousness what do you do? There are two sides to this since there is the person who is at the giving and at the receiving end. Sometimes you are the one giving the judgement or you are the one receiving it.
Let’s say you are the one receiving first. That means you are the one with good intentions and wrong actions or your actions seem misinterpreted most times. The first thing you have to do is to check your intentions and think about the actions that best interpret them before action.
This also means you have to take your time before acting. You can’t afford to do things hastily if you have been misjudged a couple of times. It is very important you think through what you are about to do and sometimes consult people with a good sense of judgement to see how others might interpret your actions just before you act. I think that will help.
Now we are most at the giving end or can easily find ourselves at the giving end. We are so quick to take the actions of people in isolation and judge that without thinking about what led to that actions.
Sometimes we will not be angry with people or clash with them if we are just patient enough to to see through their actions. Bottom line is, don’t be so quick to judge unless the person has consistently followed that line of action. Even at that, there just might be a situation where someone means well but ends up doing what is not expected.
If you have been misjudged at any point in time, you will see that it can be very painful to misjudge others so kindly have a rethink before throwing out your judgement.
More importantly, all of us can be found in a situation with good intentions and end up with the wrong actions. The major way out is to think very well and be slow to act so you can be sure of what you are doing.
Fola Daniel Adelesi
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