There are those who get married and they are still thinking they really need to have the freedom they used to have before getting married while some admit that once they are married, they gave up their freedom for their spouse. It is not because they do not desire their freedom but they know that if the relationship must work, a measure of their freedom must be given up.
How much freedom have you given up or are you not willing to give up any freedom for your relationship? Are you thinking that no matter what happens you should still retain your freedom? Do you want to stay married and still be totally free from control either as a man or as a woman?
I am not sure what you are thinking about but you must know that when you decide to get married or the moment you decided, for those already married, you immediately gave up some freedom.
It’s not time for someone to be worried about you when you go out or when you are home and they are out. It’s time for someone to think so often about how you are doing where you are. There could be times when you feel like going out but are compelled to stay indoors for the sake of ‘spending time’ together.
When you earn it is no longer about you. You have to think about your partner and your joint needs. You think about how to meet them and how you can forge ahead. This is a lot more about meeting needs together. One person may even be so rich that he or she can take care of all the needs in the house without the assistance of the other. That notwithstanding, you will still see the real need to give up some freedom if you are going to make your marriage work.
You can’t be married and expect that your spouse will not ask you questions about how you spend money, where you go to, the company you keep and the activities you choose to engage in. when you think that your spouse is not giving you a free hand and is trying to limit your freedom or take it away totally, the two of you might eventually get into trouble and both lose the freedom you thought you already lost.
Maybe it’s important to let you know that you relationship in marriage is like synchronising your life with that of the other person. More importantly, the kind of synchronisation that was done for you makes it hard for one person to do one thing and feel it’s okay for the other person not to know. Whatever affects you affects the other person and what affects the other person affects you.
When you also see, as I have often pointed out, that when you lose your freedom you get it back. It will not be hard to give up those things that you think your spouse is trying to limit. The understanding that you both have to give up certain things for each other keeps you going and at the end of the day you will enjoy more of the freedom you thought you had lost.
Marriages or relationships are commitments. Once you make such commitments, it will be hard to keep them without sacrifices. One of the great sacrifices you need to make to keep them is your freedom at some point so that you can gain it much later. If you are not ready for this, you may as well want to prepare yourself before getting into it or readjust before you lose the marriage altogether.
Nobody is happy to lose his or her freedom; especially when they feel it was forcefully taken away. However, given up this one makes you happy on the long run.
Fola Daniel Adelesi
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