Identity Crisis – Fola Daniel Adelesi

Identity Crisis – Fola Daniel Adelesi

Identity crisis in my own words is simply a conflicting perception of your true personality that makes you think less of yourself and often seek approval from other people.

A lot of people do not have it easy relating with other people in their places of work or as students in their schools and sometimes they think the other people are the problem. Often times when we think someone else is the problem, we are the one who need to change. Stephen Covey would say, “the way you see the problem is the problem.”

More than half the people who walk the face of the earth do not truly know who they are because they are looking at someone else and they pattern their entire lives after that person. This is what necessitates the clarification between imitation and emulation. When you are emulating someone it simply means the person has some good attitudes that you can take after. It simply means that the person has set a positive standard and has become a success in the positive light so if you also want to succeed you can take some clues from that person. Nevertheless, you still have it in mind that there are certain things you cannot do exactly the way that person has done it because you may not be in exactly the same situation. Emulation is usually with a purpose and with the consciousness of your personality not being eroded despite the fact that you want someone else to be your role model.

When you begin to imitate people you often do not know why they do what they do but you always do it because they are doing it and before you know it your confidence would depend on what is approved by the society. With this, your personality would be eroded since you are trying to live like another person instead of being yourself and still learning somethings from other people.

Words that are associated with identity crisis and proofs of thinking less of yourself.

1.) Intimidation
2.) Insecurity
3.) Inferiority
4.) Low self esteem
5.) Arrogance
6.) Materialism
7.) Denial
8.) Deceit
9.) Hatred
10.) Envy
11.) Depression.

Signs of identity crisis

1.) You appreciate everything about others but nothing about yourself.
2.) You envy or hate others for being more successful or for having gone ahead of you.
3.) You find it difficult to relate with people who seem to be more successful or people who seem to have nearly all that you desire.
4.) You always want to make people focus on what you have, your little achievements, what you wear and not who you are.
5.) You never want to admit that the other person is better than you in one area so that you can focus on another strength within you.
6.) Abnormal sexual behaviour

Signs of seeking approval

1.) You do what others are doing and not what you want to do.
2.) Other people’s goals and standards often become your goals and standards.
3.) You always succumb to peer pressure.
4.) You are inwardly dissatisfied but you want to please others.
5.) You are not comfortable when people don’t compliment you.
6.) You don’t know when to be at the fore front and when not to be at the fore front.
7.) Your purpose of speaking is to get approval and not to inform or educate.

Consequences of identity crisis

1.) Victims are often headed in the wrong direction.
2.) Some victims tend to celebrate others and always want to be someone else.
3.) Victims do things to feel accepted in places where they find themselves.
4.) Victims of identity crisis are always looking for external things to substitute for the missing inner value.
5.) It is hard for some victims to accept who they are and when it is hard to accept who you are then you will never be anybody in life.
6.) Identity crisis makes you focus on your weaknesses rather than strength.
7.) Identity crisis makes people go into pity party.
8.) Identity crisis can keep people in poverty.
9.) Identity crisis can get rich people into trouble or run them bankrupt.
10.) Identity crisis breaks marriages and other kinds of relationships.
11.) Churches are breaking or are in serious trouble because of pastors who have identity crisis.
12.) Identity crisis inhibits the display of true leadership in any organization because the focus will shift to personalities rather than goals.
13.) Imitation is what you do rather than emulation.

The way out of identity crisis

1.) You need a lot of guts not to always have your standards defined by others.
2.) Don’t always go by what is popular.
3.) Do what you know is right regardless of what others think.
4.) Keep discovering yourself to know why you are different from others and why you should live differently.
5.) Keep listening to audios and watch videos that keep you positively motivated to boost your self-esteem.

About the author Fola Daniel Adelesi

Fola Daniel Adelesi is a professional public speaker who also trains other speakers. He's a highly engaging training facilitator and he holds his large audience spell bound when speaking at gatherings. Apart from his several platforms which include banks, insurance companies and religious organizations where he facilitates trainings, he has been a part of some national television shows and he spoke so intelligently. He's an author, business consultant and highly skilled master of ceremony with excellent poise and diction. He was on the Debaters TV reality show season 1, he presented 'You Can' on Radio Continental in 2011 and he did motivational segments on Galaxy TV from Dec 2008 to August 2009. Fola Daniel has authored at least 5 books including ‘Writing Business Proposals,’ ‘The Mentoring father’ and ‘Get up and hit that goal.’ He talked about Social Media on Info.com - An ICT Show on Lagos Television from August 2015 to late 2016. He’s a regular guest on some national tv platforms (including Channels TV and Television Continental) and a delight to their audience. He trained as a communications professional, works as a business consultant and was also trained at Lagos Business School in collaboration with Google as a Digital Business Manager. He is the President and CEO of the Edible Pen Group.

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