You may have taken leadership in your home with so much levity but if you really want to take leadership seriously then you must take the home leadership seriously. The leadership at home begins with the cooperation between you and your spouse and how you decide to work together rather than contend for power.
In so many homes, you just can’t tell who is in charge. You get some orders from the father and the next moment the mother is dishing out orders to the children as well. The man decides one thing and the woman decides the other thing.
At this point you will see that your agreements and disagreements go beyond the two of you. If you lead right then you will have peace and your style, which may have been passed on to your children, will eventually affect the society in some way.
How do you lead in the home when it looks like it’s just a small unit of the society? Who are you leading? Is it your spouse or just the children? From the first few statements that I have made you should be able to deduce that it takes two – the husband and wife – to tango; even though between them the man should still lead.
More importantly, they both have to provide good leadership for the children they are raising. What do you do to provide good leadership for the children you are raising?
Show them love. You can’t lead the people you have not shown love. You will be like a boss or even a slave master and there will be rebellion. If you don’t show them love, someone else will use it as a bait to lure them into something you don’t like.
Spend time talking to the children and listening to them. With this you can tell what they have on their minds and guide them. If you don’t listen to them, others will and those who listen to them can almost dictate how they should live their lives.
Say what you mean and mean what you say. You may say certain things just to get the children to stop disturbing you. Remember that children hardly forget. You may forget but they don’t and when you don’t keep your promise they no longer trust you.
Walk the talk and do exactly what you want them to do. Many parents say one thing and do the other. They expect their children to follow what they say and not follow what they do. You just have to be the practical model for your children in every way that you can.
Provide for them so long as they are not yet old enough to start fending for themselves. You may not have it all but do you best to get them what they need. Don’t let them get under peer pressure just for some material gains.
Engage them productively. Don’t just give them an assignment and hope to keep them indoors all day. Look for something exciting that they can spend time learning from and possibly use in their future. You can get them some musical instruments, let them get involved in some sporting activities and other things like that which they can still make a living from.
Talk to them about their future. Let them freely talk about what they want to become and not always impose what you think they must become. When you let them make some choices about their future, it gives way to teaching them how to be responsible for the consequences of their own choices.
You are really expected to lead no matter how young or inadequate you feel. Its more inevitable when you have started a family. You must lead and if you must lead, it is important to lead right. Start leading right from your home today.
Fola Daniel Adelesi
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