It important to know when it is common sense to compromise because some people under the guise of determination are determined to go ahead in the wrong direction. It is not the strong determination in the wrong direction that gets you where you are going. The more important issue here is direction.
As much as I agree that the organization could have been sustained, I would say to you that it was killed because I had a premonition about people getting funny. I was supposed to use the real name of the organization to run the project but I used another name because I didn’t want them to mess the organization. I knew from the scratch that I could still go on with the real name if they fumbled with the other name so I used a name that I didn’t really need.
For some time it looked as if nothing was happening but I moved on. One thing I have always wanted to prove to a team is that no team at whatever time can put me on hold. All I did was to forget the team that I could not communicate with but I did not forget my vision because I understood the vision clearly and could run with it. I had come to realize that if someone would not help I could always get another person who would so I do not make people feel that I cannot survive if they don’t help. With or without them my vision will run.
I kept pumping money into the things that I believed in. I could not pump in the kind of money that would get the pictures on my mind into my hands but I started with something. A lot of times what I did was to use the pocket allowance from my parents to fund the things I was doing. I remember clashing with my dad on several occasions because I had exhausted the money in my account. The problem was not that I was asking for more. The challenge was that he would always ask how much was left and often times nothing was left but I would give him a figure just to impress. Unfortunately even the figures I gave did not impress him. He kept wondering why my account would run into red so quickly.
Some of the things I did with the money included producing stickers and bulletins and trying to organize seminars. In January of 2004 I started putting some of my quotes on stickers because I didn’t just want the quotes to lie dormant in my files. I ran into trouble again because the stickers were to be sold but I don’t think I sold half of what was produced. What happened! I gave them out! I put in money to produce something to be sold but I kept meeting people who liked it and claimed they didn’t have the money. I could not stand to hear people tell me they did not have the money especially when it was obvious they needed the words on the stickers so I kept giving out and sold to a few people who were kind enough to buy. All goods were out but capital was gone because emotion had come into my business! So there was no money to produce new stickers and I kept waiting on my allowance. That meant having to go on hunger strike having put money in business but again I gave out more than I sold!
… to be continued.