Dealing with personal pains and rumours at some very crucial points in my life were some of the challenges that I faced and I will not say that my approach towards the issues were 100 percent fantastic but through it all I mastered the art of keeping quiet as often as I could.
When I was done with my first book, HOPE OF THE ZEALOTS, which was a compilation of poems from 18 other young authors and me, I had to face some of the most unrealistic assumptions. One of the things that I had going for me at this point was that all the papers I used, starting from when I put the idea on paper to when I began inviting people to be a part of what I was doing were intact. I could produce the papers for anyone who was interested and in some cases I did. My papers in the first place revealed that I had not forced anyone to let go off their intellectual properties. I did not take the poems behind anyone. They were not poems downloaded from the internet! Everyone who participated had willingly submitted the poems published. I also got them to submit their pictures though we did not use that eventually and all the letters I wrote to sponsors and the manager of the publishing outfit were properly kept.
The people who did not know all of these started shouting that I had published people’s poems without their permission. Some of them said that I also published the poems without attribution (acknowledging the authors by mentioning their names next to their works). Fortunately I had a copy of the book in my hands the day a concerned fellow came to tell me about the rumour. I simply brought out a copy and showed him the content page were all titles were listed under the authors’ names. Then I proceeded to show him the first few pages of the book. He knew immediate that he had been fed with the wrong information. One annoying thing is that those who will make the loudest noise concerning you are those who are not doing anything! They are always idle. The only great thing they have prospered in is rumour mongering. Unfortunately the rumours that may destroy you will never get to your ears in good time and the people who are spreading it will move and laugh with you as if all is well.
Except people confront me with issues I don’t go all out trying to address rumours because sometimes that attitude is a proof of either guilt or immaturity. When they confront me sometimes I don’t say anything beyond the fact that it is not true. I only talk extensively with the people I respect and submit to. In all situations you will always need some people to confide in. You may look so strong while going through those times of persecution from the mouth but in your inner man you are a broken person and you know there is no strength left in you.
These were some of the most vulnerable times for me because they were times I needed someone to talk to without being prejudged for whatever reason. I got people to talk to in some cases and in some others it looked as if the real people are out of the reach of anybody. It was a time for me to learn independence even when you really, really need people to help you! … to be continued.