Refraining from experiences | © Fola Daniel Adelesi

We understand that as human beings we must go through certain things in life to gain experiences. The experiences we gain today will be very useful for the goals we want to hit or the places we are going in life. The truth is that some of those experiences will be very pleasant. Others will not be too pleasant and there are those that will be really discouraging. In order to have a balanced experience, we cannot choose to embrace the pleasant ones and refrain from the unpleasant ones.

As I began to think about this I thought about parenting as an experience. It is a sweet experience to see your grown-ups doing very well in their schools or their other endeavours in life. You like to see them wake up every day and pursue their goals. When they start succeeding you also become happier. However, you must remember that the sweet experiences of parenting will not come without first going through the pains of carrying a baby in the womb and the pains of labour.

After the child arrives, you start spending on feeding the child, diapers, cloths, education and health. Sometimes it may not be convenient for you but you give up your comfort just to give the child a life. It is this first phase that makes you confident enough to call yourself a parent later in life and to be proud of the success of your children.

Are you starting a business? Have you seen those who have become very successful in business and you want to be as successful as they are? Well you should remember that they have had very unpleasant experiences before coming out with those sweet experiences that you are seeing.

I understand that the bitter or the unpleasant experience can be hard but if you will move forward in life you can’t leave them out. You must go through them. Sometimes it is the experiences that we don’t want to have that make us better people. I can also say that the experiences we try to avoid are probably going to take us faster to our destination compared to the experiences we embrace.

To have a really beautiful life we must have had some not too beautiful phases in life. That is also corroborated by some of my own experiences on the journey to become an accomplished international speaker and author. As I try to motivate others to succeed, I keep going through some unpleasant experiences. I don’t like those experiences and if I have a choice I will always avoid them. I will create what looks like a perfect plan for life and only stick to the good times from start to finish. Somewhere in the process I realized there is no way I can even inspire others to succeed without being discouraged or having gone through some of the things they have gone through. That simply means my down times gave credibility to the inspiration that I offered other people.

You may have tried something and failed. That is one event. You have to get up and work at it again. If it is what you are meant to do then you must keep at it until you find a way to succeed. You can’t go away from an experience because it’s not pleasant and hope to come back when it becomes pleasant.

Life will not skip phases for you because you went away. You will simply delay the process for yourself. The earlier you go through the unpleasant experiences the better. I will suggest that you don’t choose just to great experiences if you have the choice. It’s not for today but for your future.

Always remember that the choices you make today are either going to give you the desired pleasant experience tomorrow or give you the undesired experience. In any case, you must go through both for a balance life and real success.   

Fola Daniel Adelesi
President/CEO,
Edible Pen.

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About the author Fola Daniel Adelesi

Fola Daniel Adelesi is a professional public speaker who also trains other speakers. He's a highly engaging training facilitator and he holds his large audience spell bound when speaking at gatherings. Apart from his several platforms which include banks, insurance companies and religious organizations where he facilitates trainings, he has been a part of some national television shows and he spoke so intelligently. He's an author, business consultant and highly skilled master of ceremony with excellent poise and diction. He was on the Debaters TV reality show season 1, he presented 'You Can' on Radio Continental in 2011 and he did motivational segments on Galaxy TV from Dec 2008 to August 2009. Fola Daniel has authored at least 5 books including ‘Writing Business Proposals,’ ‘The Mentoring father’ and ‘Get up and hit that goal.’ He talked about Social Media on Info.com - An ICT Show on Lagos Television from August 2015 to late 2016. He’s a regular guest on some national tv platforms (including Channels TV and Television Continental) and a delight to their audience. He trained as a communications professional, works as a business consultant and was also trained at Lagos Business School in collaboration with Google as a Digital Business Manager. He is the President and CEO of the Edible Pen Group.

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