Over the weekend my wife and I decided, almost at the last minute, to attend a couples dinner organised by our church. We almost made all the genuine excuses possible not to attend but both of us left so happy and rejoiced that we did not choose to stay away! One of the beautiful things that you remember when you go for such events is that you and your spouse did a lot of things together when you were dating or in the early days of your marriage but you seem to have forgotten all those things.
Maybe I should mention that if you are not married you may want to refrain from reading this article. I need to pour out my heart to the married people and it should be a serious talk. To start with, are you really still married to that man or woman in your house? I know you wake up on daily basis together and go to the same bed at night but my question still remains, ‘are you still married?’ There are several people who claim to be married but have not had sex in more than one year! During the couples’ dinner, the preacher who is popularly referred to as ‘Baba Jerusalem’ recounted counselling experiences where he found out about people who had been married but have not had sex in 5 years! How can that be! Is that a marriage? While I totally understand that marriage is not just about sex we must also admit that sex is a regular occurrence in any good marriage where neither of the couple, for medical reasons, is unable to ‘RESPOND TO STIMULUS’
In the church, during the dinner, the preacher (Baba Jerusalem) devised tactics to make sure all the couples present kissed each other. Well I need to say that happened repeatedly. He also asked men to pick sweets from the tables, put it in their mouths and pass it to their wives’ mouth while not letting the sweet go off easily. He went a step further and asked all women to seat on the laps of their husbands. The high point of it in there was when he said to the men, ‘your wife has two mouse! Locate them and begin to browse.’ He was referring to the breasts of the wives when he talked about the mouse and did ask the men to touch their wives’ breasts confidently. When it was time for food, he also made sure that husbands put food in their wives’ mouth and wives did the same.
One of the major issues this brings back is the strong communication that is lacking in so many homes! There are those who have not said ‘I love you’ to each other in very many years! There are those who have never played together after the honeymoon but they still live together as couples. We need to know that the very little things we keep ignoring are the things that wreck a lot of marriages today!
What are you doing in order to save your marriage? This is so important because the marriage has a huge spiral effect on the community and the nation as a whole when it begins to break down. All couples present at the meeting earlier in the day were made to renew their marriage vows and it seriously felt like getting married afresh!
Men and women need to get back to playing with each other as most of them did while dating in order to remain friends! People become friends, talk about getting married and when they get married, they soon forget that they need to remain friends for the marriage to last.
Guard your marriage with all diligence, remain the friend of the man or woman you married and never let ‘LACK OF TIME, TIREDNESS OR BUSINESS AND WORK’ snatch your spouse and file a divorce for you!
Have a wonderful, splendid, great, amazing, sweet and Godly marriage!
Fola Daniel Adelesi
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