In a few hours from now it will be exactly two years that I walked down the aisle with my wife (or babe as we men call them in Nigeria) and when I look at these two seemingly short years, a few things run through my mind. First I wonder how she ( Funsho Fola-Daniel) got convinced to marry me even when I had nothing and the other is how she has stayed with me even when I may not have offered the best that men have to offer.
I can even say that there are two major things that I have been offering. The first is my dream and the other is my future. How many ladies want that today? They all want the man who has all the cash in the world. As for me, all I had was my sweet mouth! Maybe someone is now saying you must have used your sweet mouth to catch her. No! I only used my sweet mouth to motivate people. I even became very reserved whenever it was time to talk to people one on one.
Why am I bringing this up right now. It’s mainly for two things. It’s first of all to say thank you to the woman who married me for my dreams and nothing else. And I also want to use this to put things in perspective for younger women waiting to marry. It’s a great thing to have a rich guy propose to you. That’s the dream of a lot of women. They do not want to struggle even though they have a job. They still wish to marry someone richer.
The rich guys may come but have you ever considered the possibility of a reversal in fortune? What happens if he loses everything in one day? Do you leave and start looking for another rich guy? Am I saying you should not marry a rich guy? I have not said that. I only want you to have a rethink on the parameters for deciding who becomes your husband.
You need to think about marrying someone for things that can last long and not for things that can vanish or be gone before you say ‘jack!’ There’s more to marriage than having all the physical or material resources! Once in a while I look back at the ladies who were my friends and wonder which of them could have gone through a tough time with me. Which of them could have endured a time when the fame and the skills do not have a commensurate result compared to the resources available? There were moments when I thought about doing a lot more but just could not do it and it was never an issue in my home.
You need to know that if you are ready for a real marriage that will outlive the presence or absence of money, you must be ready for such moments. I want to boldly appeal that you marry a man or woman who sincerely has dreams and is pursuing them. I am not talking about those who say they have dreams and only talk about the dreams but do nothing. Let it be a man who is obviously consumed by his dreams and ready to do anything that’s right for the dreams to become real.
I am sure someone is asking if they will eat the dreams when they marry the man. Well, you will not be eating his dreams but his great and sincere dreams will eventually offer you more. There are many ladies today who have turned down their greatness simply for refusing to marry a certain man who only had dreams at the beginning.
To enjoy some greatness, there will be some price to pay. Your price might be to endure hardship with the man and eventually enjoy greatness with the man. As for my babe, you have endured with me and we shall also enjoy the greatness together! In case you are already married, make the most of it and enjoy each other in all the days of your life!
Fola Daniel Adelesi
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