I don’t think it will be hard for us to convince anyone that we love them only if we will be more tolerant and let them see how much of their imperfection or inadequacies that we are tolerating!
Love is on the lips of everyone and more people are getting married every day! More musicians are writing love songs and its quick for listeners to grab, memorize and then sing along! The movie industries in different countries are producing more movies with stories on love and authors are not relenting on writing love stories! Ironically, as we talk more about love and hardly let it off our lips, more people are dying on daily basis as a result of the intolerance that we have for one another!
Day in day out we hear more horrible stories of husbands killing their wives, neighbours killing neighbours, people of different religious views killing one another, killings over tribal differences, people being killed for ritual purposes either to make money or to win elections the list goes on about the very funny reasons we cannot tolerate each and live in harmony!
We cannot claim to love and not have tolerance because to love someone does not mean that you love the person for being perfect! If we only love people because they are good or they appear to be perfect then we are still deceiving ourselves. A lot of young people fall in love under the delusion of finding the perfect match for them! Some of them only get into marriage before realizing that the personal they claim to love is someone they have to tolerate for the rest of their lives!
It is important to attempt to redefine what it means to tolerate other people. In most cases we say we are tolerating someone because we have nowhere to put them and dont know what to do with them. When we review every called tolerance then we will find out that it is really about appreciating people the way they are, help them through love to become better where it is possible and never judge them for being themselves!
Many of us are being intolerant by setting very high expectations for people around us or our spouses and expecting them to exceed our own expectations when we truly have our own issues to deal with. Its practically impossible to define love without the all-inclusive nature of tolerance but theoretically possible. Love is real when we find out things we didnt know about some people and the things that have been revealed do not change the fact that we love them! Love is true when we will not treat people based on their colours, social status, educational backgrounds or material possessions. I can say that love is amazing when we just treat people as human beings who are imperfect but need to be genuinely loved.
More issues have been created in our world today because of the intolerance we have for the people that we ought to love. When we love people genuinely we end up helping them to grow and when we dont, we give them more things to worry about because they now have to deal with our rejection! In the bid for some people to deal with our rejection, they begin to recede into guilt and regrets about what they could have done but did not do to be on the same social pedestal with us!
Tolerance is an integral part of love and when we claim to love, we must let our love be a reflection of tolerance because someone somewhere has also been tolerating us!
© Fola Daniel Adelesi
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