Unconscious seduction | © Fola Daniel Adelesi

This is really going on every day and some don’t seem to be aware of it. It’s even happening right inside the church and getting so many people into trouble. Some do not think that those who are involved are ignorant but I will like to give the benefit of doubt and just use this piece to bring it to their attention.

One of the reasons I had to bring this up was the feedback I got from the last article titled ‘Seduction in the church.’ This was also prompted by a conversation on indecent dressing. I did mention in my last piece on this issue that one of the ways the unconscious seduction happens is the position that some people take. I also mentioned the case of women bending over without their knees going down.

This issue is one of the reasons it is important for people go to finishing schools or to look for information online and equip themselves with knowledge. I have seen in a number of cases that the unconscious seduction is purely an issue of etiquette. Until the people involved have learnt the proper way to comport themselves in public, they may unconsciously continue the seduction.

There are those who do not know how to sit down properly. Some don’t simply realize that the underwear they have on it not the right size even though it appears to fit them. At first this was strange to me until I heard a radio show. The presenter had a guest who talked about the right sizes of under wear and the wrong sizes with the implications of the wrong sizes. He described what the wrong sizes will make you look like. Example is the case of wearing a bra that fits but is still an under size. It fits because it goes around your body but remains an under size because it does not accommodate your breast properly. So what happens is that when you wear it a portion of the breast is shooting up. When my wife and I heard this, we instantly thought of someone and then realized it was really true.

For some men, I think their tool for unconscious seduction is just that they keep talking and talking and forget that there is a time to stop talking. The ladies listen to them and give them more attention over time. These guys have no interests in these ladies yet they spend a lot of time with them and keep talking to them. You also flatter and give excessive compliments not knowing that the person you are talking to is taking all the compliments to heart. She also thinks that the compliments are indications of your interest. From that time, this lady may now be more ‘available’ and also looking forward to those compliments.

I also happen to know those who are very graphical with words. Even if you don’t know much, you will still have a picture in your head about anything they describe. So while they are describing, they are already causing commotion in the heads and minds of some people. That’s why I also suggest that teachers of the word and pastors need to be very careful with some of the illustrations they use publicly. I think there might be those who cannot use illustrations without referring to a man and woman relationship. If you are doing this you just might be sending a wrong signal to the church. It’s a different ball game if you are teaching in a room full of married people and the subject is their marriage.

There are those who also go about hugging and touching everyone. I know some people do it deliberately and there are those who are not doing it deliberately. Please bear in mind that there are many people who are very sensitive to touch. Any small touch will fire them up. If you keep touching these kind of people intentionally or unintentionally, you are creating trouble.

If you look at what I have said so far, it can be summarised by saying there will be unconscious seduction because of:
Improper composure in public
Wrong choice of under wears and cloths
Talking loosely or flattery
Carelessly touching or touching without restraints.

All these happen, not only in the church but in the work places as well. We have to be very careful and make sure we do not become stumbling blocks in the paths of others. As children of God, because I believe you are, we must not be the reason others will offend God.

Having said what I think I should say, let me just leave you with this thought: ‘Let he that think he stands take heed, lest he falls.’ 


Fola Daniel Adelesi
President/CEO,
Edible Pen.

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About the author Fola Daniel Adelesi

Fola Daniel Adelesi is a professional public speaker who also trains other speakers. He's a highly engaging training facilitator and he holds his large audience spell bound when speaking at gatherings. Apart from his several platforms which include banks, insurance companies and religious organizations where he facilitates trainings, he has been a part of some national television shows and he spoke so intelligently. He's an author, business consultant and highly skilled master of ceremony with excellent poise and diction. He was on the Debaters TV reality show season 1, he presented 'You Can' on Radio Continental in 2011 and he did motivational segments on Galaxy TV from Dec 2008 to August 2009. Fola Daniel has authored at least 5 books including ‘Writing Business Proposals,’ ‘The Mentoring father’ and ‘Get up and hit that goal.’ He talked about Social Media on Info.com - An ICT Show on Lagos Television from August 2015 to late 2016. He’s a regular guest on some national tv platforms (including Channels TV and Television Continental) and a delight to their audience. He trained as a communications professional, works as a business consultant and was also trained at Lagos Business School in collaboration with Google as a Digital Business Manager. He is the President and CEO of the Edible Pen Group.

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