Are you planning to use pregnancy as leverage? Fola Daniel Adelesi

We’ve seen so many ladies getting involved with a guy with the intent to become pregnant and then hope that the gentleman will have no option but to marry them and they have what they want. I think if this ever comes up as a plan for you then there two issues that you need to address. The first one is self-esteem and the other is greed!

Why is it a self-esteem issue? You need to ask yourself if that man is the only man available on earth. You also have to stop deceiving yourself about only one man being the one who has all that you want. There are several other men who are even better than the one who wants to make you lose your self-esteem.

Whether you are the one initiating the pregnancy discussion as a precondition for marriage or the man is the one, it should never be a tool for leverage. You should never consider getting pregnant for a man so you can use the pregnancy to ‘tie him down’ as we say in Nigeria. There are instances too when some men insist that you get pregnant for them before they marry you. You should not take that because there is more to you than being a tool for children.

Some say it is their culture or tradition. Some they in their family, the woman must get pregnant before marriage and they use that as an avenue to keep having intimacy with the woman all the time. In a number of cases, the woman might get pregnant and still be discarded. Pregnancy is not a guarantee for marriage and you should not lower your prestige to the point of make pregnancy the only condition or one of the conditions for marriage.

I can understand that in some cases, the couple really loves themselves. They weren’t planning for pregnancy or they were hoping they could get intimate and avoid pregnancy but the pregnancy came and they decide to get married. That’s a different case. Neither party started out using pregnancy as a condition for marriage.

There are those who also need to be cured of greed because theirs is a case of planning to get pregnant and force a man into marriage because of the money or some other resources that the man has. If the man has a great job and a visible future prospect, some people try to use pregnancy as leverage. When the man or even a girl is the child of a billionaire, you see some men running around to get the girl pregnant so that they can marry and he automatically becomes rich. Some ladies too want money and that’s why they carefully plan the pregnancy set up for the man.

Your tricks and plans but work in some cases but it is often worse off when they do not work. If you want to become pregnant to prove to a family that you’re fertile, you would be devastated when the man says he’s not marrying you again. When you try to tie a man down by getting pregnant and he says he’s not marrying you, your self-esteem which was already damaged becomes shattered.

I’ve seen people get themselves into this kind of a mess and it didn’t work out well. There are those who did it and it just worked out perfectly. You have to be sure of what you want and prepare for consequences. Are you planning you use pregnancy as leverage? Think again.


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