Can you marry an older lady? | Fola Daniel Adelesi

Age is nothing but numbers some people say. When faced with the reality of having to marry an older lady, they bolt! Is it wrong to marry an older lady or what’s really the issue with going for a lady who is older since ladies can marry men who are older than them?

Marrying someone who is older than you, especially for the men often does not seem like a big deal until the marriage begins. For many men, this is often about control. They want to be in charge. They want to remind the lady they are older. They don’t want to be told by their wives that they’re younger. They can’t imagine trying to correct their wives and the women say, ‘do you realise I’m older than you?’

When you set aside the issue of pride, ego, or masculinity, it often does not matter who is older especially when the people involved are mature. Maturity is always the first point of call when dealing with a younger man in a relationship. There are men who can be younger but you will never notice it in the way the men relate with their older wives. Because of this maturity, you will see the older lady submit completely and they go on to have a wonderful relationship.

Relationships can work regardless of the age of the people involved or who is younger. It does not work in some cases because the ladies never want to submit to anyone younger than them. You may even see relationships that have been working until the lady finds out that the man is younger. Everything was perfect until the revelation of the man being younger. Now if you’re dating a man who is younger and you didn’t know until you started dating, that’s not a problem. If you also did not intend to date anyone younger and you simply found out that the man is younger when the relationship started, you can simply call him to have a discussion. You don’t need to be dramatic about it. I love you but I never plan to marry anyone younger than I am. That’s why I can’t continue with this relationship. That shouldn’t be a big deal to discuss and to move on from there.

This is not a rule for everyone. Some will never marry anyone younger or even date anyone younger than them. Others are open to dating anyone who is younger or marrying that person provided the person displays a level of maturity and will be ready to sustain that maturity in marriage.

You don’t have to go around telling people that your wife is older if the age difference is not much and the age difference between you and your spouse is not obvious. This, as much as possible, should be kept between you. Why? We don’t need that information and it adds no value to us! You may only share this information if you have to counsel other people and you think sharing this information will change their perspective or help their relationships. Other than that, we really do not need to know if your wife is younger or older. It does not make any difference to us because it is ultimately your life and you’re free to do what works for you.

If you’re okay with marrying an older lady, do so. I also know about ladies who are not okay with marrying older men. They don’t even want to marry anyone who is a year older than them. They simply want to marry their age mates. It is, as they say, different strokes for different folks!


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