Confessions over your spouse │© Fola Daniel Adelesi

The mouth battering of so many people on their spouses or white washing has become a big issue in marriages. Some marriages have been broken only because of what one spouse is saying to the other. Many other marriages are also on the verge of collapse because there are too many people out there who do not realize that what they are saying is pulling down the marriage! When you bring down the other person in a relationship with your mouth, you are doing damage to more than one person. The damage extends to you as well.
You have to note that what you say is what you get. It’s like speaking to something that can hear and respond to your voice. As you begin to call that thing names it will begin to transform into all the various names you are calling it. When you being to call your husband or wife all sort of names, he or she will begin to conform to those names that you are calling and, over time, you will soon see what you have been calling.
Some people are in the habits of calling their spouses bastards, bitches, unfortunate, witch, wizard and all other funny names. The more you call those names the more the transform into what you are calling them. As you keep confessing it you will keep seeing a manifestation of what you are calling.
After I got married I went to see one of my wife’s uncles. He asked us a question and we really didn’t see why he was asking us that question. ‘What name do you call yourselves?’ he asked. I think I was the first to answer and I said, ‘I call her First Lady.’ He laughed and asked if my wife also calls me ‘first man.’ It probably didn’t hit him why I call my wife First Lady but over time I will have what I have been professing on her. You should also note that this will come back to me because you cannot have a First Lady without the man being something very significant!
Watch your big mouth and if you have to use it on your spouse it must be for something good. I think it is ignorance that makes people talk to their spouses anyhow or try to bring them down with their mouths. If you keep calling your wife a witch you will soon have a proper or full blown witch. When you start having dreams about witches you don’t have to search any further. You already created one witch in your house! And you will also be the husband of a witch! In fact, if we are to go according to what the Bible says, then you are also a witch! The Bible tells us that the two shall become one. If you have already been joined with that man or woman then you are also going to become whatever you call your spouse!
I understand that it is out of anger that some of these funny names spring up and we use them on our spouses without thinking twice. I presume you didn’t realize the weight of what you were doing but now you do. Change the way things are said. If someone is acting funny, don’t call them what you are seeing physically. Call them what you want to see!
We were made to understand that our God is the one who can call forth those things that be not as though they were. Another version explains it as God can call forth those things that did not exist and it will look as though they had existed long before. We are also to do this to our spouses. Call forth the virtues you want to see and not the vices you are seeing.
Remember that words are powerful. They can transform, reform and also deform. It’s like using a hammer. You can build several good things with a hammer and you can also destroy so many good things with the same hammer. The choice is yours but I suggest you use the hammer in your mouth to build the ideal person that you want to see and not to destroy the one you already have.
It may not be easy. Just think of the fact that you are sowing a seed when you speak and you will harvest from whatever you say later. If it is so difficult that you cannot say anything, just keep quiet for the moment and when you are no longer angry, so what you are supposed to say in order to build up and not to pull down. You can scold if you have to but there is a difference between scolding and bashing the personality of your spouse. When you also scold, try it from the perspective of encouraging the person to do more. Tell them you have a realistic standard from them and that you will like to see them operate in that standard because you know they can. Commend other good things they have also done and support physically where you can.
Keep raising each other up. Keep talking each other up. Get into the beautiful future together rather than talk each other out of it!          

Fola Daniel Adelesi
Edible Pen.
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  1. Very true and very difficult. Submit yourselves one to another is impossible without submitting to God. If u cannot obey God how can u do his will? We want perfection but will not put in d work. I have friends going thru divorce now, partly because of name calling

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