Don’t marry just because of age | Fola Daniel Adelesi

In Africa, people are always pressured to get married. It has become so serious that once people turn 28 and there is no one in sight, they start becoming worried. The worry increases when the person hits the big 30. It becomes unimaginable when the person turns 35 or older. Every uncle around you is asking when you’re getting married. Every aunt around is asking when you’re getting married. When you attend parties, you can expect that question. It is a lot more difficult when you attend a wedding and the person is one of your younger ones in the family.

Regardless of the pressure, you have to understand how to build a form of wall against all the pressure being mounted on you. You have to build a thick skin against all the unnecessary pressure about when you’re going to marry. All the people who are asking you about marriage are not the ones who will marry for you. They will only push you into getting married and you just might marry the wrong person because of them.

If you marry the wrong person or just someone that you really do not love just to silence the people asking you about marriage, you will have to face the consequences alone. You will be all by yourself when you start crying about marrying someone you do not know. The people who are putting pressure on you to get married are only interested in seeing that you’re married and attending the wedding you’re going to have.

There is nothing wrong with you and there is nothing wrong with your age. You can marry when you’re ready or when the right man comes. It is a really big issue when you marry out of love and out of pressure. It is better to stay unmarried than to be married to someone you do not know or love. You can’t imagine the hell that some people are going through right not just because they want to prove to people that they’re married.

Marriage is not one of the things you use to prove a point to your friends or family members. You can prove a point with your business exploits or academic achievements but you should not prove a point with your marriage. What you can do with your marriage is to model a good marriage to other people when you’re succeeding in that marriage. That’s understandable but never try to prove to people that you are no longer a miss and you should be respected as a married woman.

With or without marriage, you’re are a great person and you shouldn’t wait for marriage to be seen as a respectable person. Either as a man or woman, take your time. And remember that we will all not get things done at the same time. Some will always get things done early in life and some others will come immediately behind. Others will take their time. Your time is the perfect timing.

It’s okay to marry at 40 or even 50 if that’s when the right man shows up. I know you don’t like that and you don’t want that but the pressure you experience as a single is going to be nothing compared to being in the wrong marriage. When you are around your married friends, don’t be shy and don’t let that affect your confidence. You are okay. There is nothing wrong with you. You’re still a great person with or without a spouse.

You may have come of age but be sure that you’re mentally and emotionally ready for marriage. Without that, don’t just think you have to marry because you’ve hit a certain age.

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