You’ve probably heard the saying about the grass being greener on the other side. That’s what many people think marriage is. They look at their own marriage and they think it is a mess or it is not the best that it should be. Then they look at the marriages of other people and it looks like it’s the best kind of marriage that they could wish for.
You need to be told, just in case you’ve not heard, that the grass only looks greener on the other side. It is not always greener and there is no way you know until you get close to the grass that you thought was green. If you get a chance to take a close look at some of the marriages that you’re wishing for, you’d never wish for them again because you’d realise that even your own marriage that seems to be struggling is a lot better.
Does this mean you should not admire the marriages of other people? No, that’s not what I am saying. It is totally okay to look at the things some marriages are doing well and adopt that in your marriage too. However, do not make another marriage your total standard and the measure by which you determine the process of your own marriage.
When you see some couples smiling outside, you should see them at home. They know how to come out in the same dresses, smile at other people and also smile for the camera but when they get back home, it is an unimaginable war zone. You will not be able to believe what the home looks like for those smiling faces.
You are probably doing well and your marriage isn’t as bad as you think it is. While I agree you can improve your marriage or that your partner can get better, you should stop wishing for the partners of other people. Those people whose marriages you’re also wishing for have some weaknesses that you’re currently not aware of. You may end the current marriage because of the person you’re seeing from a distance only to get married to that person and realize that the new spouse is worse compared to the spouse to sent packing.
If there is anything you think your spouse can do better for your marriage to be a greater one, it is better you suggest those things to your spouse in a nice way and work on those things together. Knowing that it takes two to tango, you must also take a look at what you need to work on or ask your spouse what you’re expected to work on. You can’t expect another person to improve and you’re not improving or making efforts to do so.
The way you have your own issue is the way every other marriage you’re seeing has one issue or the other. You may think money is your own issue and you really admire that couple that has a lot of money. Well, that’s not a bad thing since money always causes issues in marriages. Well, I wish I can grant you access into that wealthy couple’s home for a few days. Then you may see that the woman is the punching bad or is as good as a house main though she has all the money she could ever dream off.
Your own marriage may be that your spouse does not have a job and the burden is on you. It could also be that your spouse has an addict and you really don’t know how to help your spouse break the addiction. Some homes also look great until you see how they’re struggling to raise their children properly. You are not the only one who has issues and you should not assume that marriage with another person will fix all your issues.
Again I say to you, every marriage has one issue or the other. On this note, your solution is to make your marriage work by working it out with your spouse!