Jealousy will wreck great relationships | Fola Daniel Adelesi

One habit that people in relationships must guard against is uncontrolled jealousy. This is because it can wreck any great relationship and it certainly has the potential to cause irredeemable damage. When you are in a relationship with someone, it should be a good thing to be jealous when you see your spouse with other people. Sometimes, that shows you really love them and you want to protect what belongs to you but in the bid to do that, there is a need for caution and wisdom.

What exactly is jealousy? Some other words used for it are:

1.     Protectiveness

2.     Watchfulness

3.     Mistrust

4.     Distrust

5.     Possessiveness

When you take a look at all these words, protectiveness and watchfulness are the only ones that seem to be in order. The others are certainly out of order and there is no way you can keep a good relationship with distrust. You can’t keep a good relationship when you’re being overly possessive.

While you really don’t want people to get into your space or taking what’s yours, you must be careful to understand situations before acting. We have seen in many movies, I can imagine some have happened in real life, a man who is talking to another woman and the fiancé or wife of that man shows up from nowhere to pour hot water on the other woman. She might show up to disgrace the woman one way or the other only to find out that the man was talking to his boss or a business partner who’s giving the husband a crucial business and there are no hidden activities between them.

At the point of discovering what the relationship is between your partner and the stranger, it is usually too late if you’ve acted irrationally. You have so many things to gain when you’re patient rather than acting to prove a point out of jealousy.

You don’t only destroy the relationship between your partner and the people who can help your partner, you destroy your own relationship. Nobody wants to keep hanging around needless to talk about marrying someone who wouldn’t even tolerate other people around them.

There are men too who just can’t stand seeing other men around their wives. Oga, calm down. There were men in the life of your lady or wife since the day she was born and before she met you. Several other men had approached her but you won the bid! Why do you think she agreed to date or marry you if she wanted to have anything to do with those other men or if she preferred them to you?

I am not saying that people don’t cheat in relationships but you can’t give yourself hypertension just because of the possibility of having a cheating spouse. Why will you keep running after your man or woman just to see if there is any other person out there? Why will you be on the trail of your spouse to the point of almost killing yourself because you want to confirm if your partner is a cheat or not? If you don’t trust someone, don’t be in a relationship with them. That’s the easiest way to keep your heart intact!

If you are already married, stop fretting and stop searching your partner’s phone frantically for messages of other people they might be cheating with. If your partner is cheating, that partner shouldn’t be so dull as to leave all messages in a phone that you can easily access. Let’s even agree that your partner is cheating, your jealous attitude which will make you act without thinking will push your partner to the other person!

Be slow to act! That’s the whole essence of this counsel. Be sure you know what you’re about to confront if you need to confront anything at all. Don’t confront your spouse with suspicions and not proofs or facts because you just might ruin everything!

Finally, jealousy can be proof of your own insecurity or low self-esteem. You have to work on being confident in yourself and never assume that you’re not good enough and that’s why someone else is cheating!  

 

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