Lessons from my father 10 | Fola Daniel Adelesi, ASM, ACL, WCC

Expectation from anyone without a commensurate reward system in place is mere wickedness and this has been proven over the years.
This is a very important tool in parenting and my father did this from a time when I was too young to understand what he was trying to do. He understood the power of motivation and the motivation I this context is not verbal motivation. A number of parents believe in motivation but all they do is verbal motivation without something else to back up the motivation. I remember when I was in primary school, my first school, I went through some coaching until I began to top the class. Immediately my father realized that I was topping the class he decided it was time to change my school. Before that announcement he had given me a couple of gifts for that performance but I later realized that those gifts were not the most important things. Changing my school was the most important gift at that time because if he had left me there I would have remained a local champion. I went on to a placed where my skills and capacity were challenged.
When I got into secondary school he again used the reward and motivation system at different times to get me going. At a time he bought me an Avon BMX bicycle which was a powerful brand at that time and it made me a respectable young boy in the community. Well, one of the things that make remember that bicycle today is that I was riding one day and while I was trying hard not to hit a couple who had a baby in their hands, I made a sharp turn, fell down immediately and sustained six major injuries, three on each leg.
There is a great message in having a reward and motivation system in place when you are raising young people or mentoring them and I will tell you that each gift given to me pushed me further. It does not have to be big but if I know it is coming, it definitely has an impact on me. Young people usually do not want to let down those who look up to them and expect so much from them provided they are not being unrealistic. People who look up to young people become unrealistic when you set expectations and have no reward in place for the things they have already achieved, no matter how small. I must also say that no matter how small your expectations are, they are unrealistic if you set expectations for someone and do not consider it necessary to encourage that person during the time the person is expected to perform. I got my first complete computer system after I passed my school leaving certificate in one attempt. My father had bought the computer before I finished school but he told me he was not going to let me have it if I did not pass all the required papers at once. I still think that computer is one of the greatest gifts he ever gave me. This reward system extended to domestic chores at home and it came very often. Whenever he asked me do to something and I surpassed his expectation, he would come home to show appreciation with a gift though he could decide to boss me around! Successful team work in organisations and parenting in families must have reward systems in place for every expectation if not, you will break the people with unrealistic expectations!

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