Managing anger in relationships | Fola Daniel Adelesi

There is the possibility for tensions and tempers to flare in relationships. In fact, some people are of the opinion that you should never marry someone whose anger you’ve never seen or experienced. While that may be overly general, it has some element of truth in it. There are people you never really know until there moments of anger. That’s why it is important to note how someone you’re going to be in a relationship with or be with for the rest of your life expresses anger.

We all get angry and should get angry in some cases. Now the problem is not the anger but how we manage the anger. As human beings, we will offend our spouses and be offended by our spouses. There are times when we will experience the transfer of aggression from our spouses too or we are the ones transferring aggression to our spouses. On the part of the men, it is easy to transfer the aggression of not having money to spend to their spouses. The aggression in the workplace can be transferred from either couple to the other.

Beyond transferring aggression, have you seen this new gentleman or women get angry? You sure would have seen your husband angry a number of times and you’ve probably seen your wife angry severally. How does your partner express anger? That’s something you must watch out for in any relationship. For the singles, when you see a partner who expresses anger by throwing things around or breaking things, that’s your cue to take a walk! That’s your sign to run for your dear life.

When you are in a relationship with someone who expresses anger by breaking things or even raises his or her hand, you need to walk fast! If someone tells you to help them become better, please help them, if you can, from a distance! Your life is very important and it is far more important than managing the emotions of our people at the expense of your life.

There are those who don’t react immediately but when they get angry, they often threaten. If your spouse is constantly threatening when angry, that is something to watch out for and you should not wait to find out if the threat will be carried out or not.

There are situations where you’re already married and the first way out is to manage the anger. How can you manage the anger of your spouse to avoid having a tense atmosphere all the time?

1.     You need to understand each other. A number of times, it is simply a misunderstanding that leads to anger.

2.     Know the triggers for anger as far as your spouse is concerned. What are the words or actions or things that get your spouse angry?

3.     If your partner has clearly told you there is something you’re doing to always get him or her angry, make the effort to stop that thing or show that you’re adjusting.

4.     Always avoid a situation where you and your partner are angry at the same time.

5.     When you’re angry, watch your words because you may say things that you do not mean and will not be able to correct.

If your spouse is angry, you have a right to be angry too but you can still agree not to express your anger at the same time. In anger management, you must understand that you need to work on yourself too, and not simply wait for other people to work on their anger.

Beautiful relationships are ruined by anger that can be worked upon. You need to ensure you’re working with your spouse to reduce your anger if you have an anger issue.

To ensure that you don’t have to deal with anger all the time, ensure you seek to understand and not respond when having a conversation with your spouse. Not listening, as simple as that is, has caused a lot of people untold hardship in their relationships. Before you respond when your spouse is talking, seek to understand what they’re saying. Patience is a pivotal key to managing anger.

You should take your time and help each other out where you can but run when you can in order to stay alive.


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