Managing each other’s skills in relationships | © Fola Daniel Adelesi

Two cannot work together except they be agreed (Amos 3:3). Following that premise, it is important for you as a couple to see how you can work together even with your skills. In many relationships, you will see a situation where a partner has a skill and the other does not seem to have a skill. So it turns out that one person is struggling or even feels intimidated because the other person is showing off his or her skills and does not know how to use it to help the relationship.
You should know that everyone has a skill or everyone can learn a skill. So if you get into a relationship of marry someone who does not seem to have a skill, one of the things you can do is to ask the person what his or her passion is. Upon deciding that, you can then choose which skill to develop or acquire. Another thing you can do is to transfer your own skill to your partner.
Over the years, it has been observed that couples who share the same passion or skills seem to enjoy each other the more. I think that’s also understandable when you note that they will not only spend time together when they are at home but their work will also bring them together. After a while they will be so closely knitted.
So what are you supposed to do when your spouse is not showing any skill? The first thing I should say is that you need to check yourself. Be sure that you have not been intimidating your spouse with your own skill. If you have been intimidating with your own skill then there might be a problem. You may have a situation where your spouse has been withdrawing because of your unknown intimidation.
You have to relax and stop the intimidation. Let your spouse see how you want to help him or her with your skills then you can begin to talk about his or her own skills. You should never shout at your spouse because you have had the privilege to develop your skills and this other person’s skill has not been developed.
What you should do is to encourage over and over again in order so you can get the best out of the other person. When you encourage it is easier to get better results from the part who was not showing any skill before.
It is also important to note that you cannot force skill down the throat of your partner. If you wish that your partner had the same skill with you then you should talk about it. Or maybe you should not go into a relationship until you find that potential partner who has the same skill with you. If you try to force your skill down the throat of a partner there can be troubles. Transferring your skill to your partner only works in a situation where your partner is willing and really wants to do or help with what you are doing.
We have a responsibility to bring each other up and not pull each other down in a relationship. We should also avoid making ourselves the standard for our partners in a relationship. When that happens, it looks like we are already judging them and saying that they are not up to the task.
If your spouse needs to go for training, encourage him or her to go for the training. No matter what it takes, you can help that spouse to make it through the training and become a better person. That’s what you should do rather than trying to make it look like you have a better skill and that’s why you have a better job or are doing well in life. You really don’t want to deal with your spouse becoming excessively introverted, demoralised or even losing self-esteem because of your attitude.
Skills are supposed to help us and not be the reason we will fight or pull each other down. So if you claim to love someone, you must be able to manage the person’s skills or help the person develop new skills so you both enjoy each other.

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