While preparing for a serious relationship that will lead to marriage, people have been taught to expect troubles because of the experiences of other people. It is now amazing how even Christian counsellors tell you to expect troubles much more than they emphasize maintaining peace on your home. So you have so many people who go into their relationships and they are just waiting for the day trouble will show up.
You will even find some who are already thinking up different scenes and as well preparing their minds for what their reactions will be when the expected trouble comes into their homes. Why will you always expect trouble in your relationship with the man or woman you profess to love? Did you not both say that you will always love each other?
There are times when some people will tell you that they are realists. So they think that reality is to always expect trouble and to think that no one is perfect. I am not arguing that anyone is perfect. I have not said there will be no troubles. What you need to realize is just so clear.
We have those who have set their minds permanently on expecting troubles, what they can do when the troubles comes and how to get out of that home. If this is what you mind is set on all the time, you will eventually attract it. What your mind focusses on is what you get in any situation and regarding any issue of your life. That is why it more dangerous to ever set your mind on trouble as your reality or to always expect it.
I have also seen those whose minds are set on the good things of life and the peace of marriage. They always expect things to work and they are not looking forward to trouble in their homes. These set of people have going good for them too because of their minds. Do they ever see troubles? Yes they do. So what happens to them when troubles come if they are not prepared for it? One thing you will see is that the people who set their minds on peace in their homes find it easier to move past the trouble that may want to come in between them as a couple or into their homes as a family.
It is this trouble-expectation mind-set that has made some couples to always look forward to one person dying sooner than they should. They want their hands to be clean so when the guy or the lady dies everyone can say they are free to marry another person. Why will you marry someone and hope he or she dies so you can move on with another person?
Even when your marriage has been set on the wrong foundations, things can be set right. If you got it wrong from the outset, you can correct those things today. It may be beyond your control as you may have noticed but it is certainly not impossible to fix. I must say you both should be willing to fix it in order to get the best out of it.
What will you do when what you expect to happen in your home is not happening? What do you have to do when all you see is trouble instead of the peace you bargained for? I think it is simple. Start by:
1. Asking where you got it wrong
2. Stop passing blames
3. List what you need to change in yourself
4. Clear the expectations of your spouse from you. Make sure you know what he or she wants.
5. Take your marriage back to the one who instituted marriage. Pray to the Lord Jesus about it.
6. Ask him to come in and help fix it.
7. He (the Lord) will play his own part on the other person’s heart but will also give you directions. Follow his leading so that your marriage can be fixed.
When you continue on the new path then you can always expect peace and no longer troubles in your home.
Peace must reign in your home and for that to happen you must expect peace all the time. But remember that Jesus is the Prince of Peace so if peace will reign I your home at all times then he must be involved in your home at all times.
Fola Daniel Adelesi
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