Seeking validation? | © Fola Daniel Adelesi

Hundreds of people are walking around today and they are waiting on other people for approvals in order to be able to live their lives but they just seem to have forgotten that the same people whose approval they are seeking are the very ones who will discredit them in the times when they are most needed! When your life depends a lot on the approval that you get from other people then you are not going to be able to live any meaningful life because you live by what people say is okay and what they think is not okay!
Why would you live by the validation that others are able to give or cannot give you depending on how much power you have given them over your life? Why would you let other people rule your world instead of ruling it yourself? How come it’s what some people who know nothing about your innate abilities say to you that absolutely determines where you want to go or where you’re not willing to go? You have to check yourself and come to terms with the fact that you have a challenge with your self-esteem or the strength of the belief you have in yourself has weakened! You need to stop going around seeking validation from other people and not being able to do anything for yourself until another person has given an approval! When you do that you release the power inside you unto other people for them to use for you or against you!
How often have you willingly given your personal powers to other people? When you stop taking decisions for yourself or you refuse to do so and allow others do it for you then you are empowering them over your life and any other thing that concerns you! I know some people will ask why others now say it is important to seek counsel. I have not said that it is irrelevant to seek counsel but you also need to know that there is a difference between seeking counsel from people and just waiting on them to validate anything you do!
When you no longer have confidence in what you can do on your own then you have lost some self-esteem. When you only believe what others are saying and you cannot at any point in time say, ‘this is what I think’ then you have lost some self-esteem! It is sometimes the loss of self-esteem or mental laziness that makes people wait for the validation of other people before they can do anything they want to do in life!
Don’t let other people run or ruin your life for you because when they are done ruining the life you are the one who will be left with the pieces! Become responsible for your own actions! Don’t be too lazy to think for yourself and come to a logical conclusion about the things you would want to do and be held responsible for! Stop waiting on the approval of others before you can forge ahead! Sometimes you may not even know that some of the people from whom you are seeking approval are those who hate you but you constantly go to them in order to get validated and instead of them to validate you for the right things they gently validate you in the direction of the wrong things! People can be subtle and cunning while they are still appearing like your wise counselors but it’s time for you to be wiser!
You are a great person and not the lowly person that some other people say you are! You have the potential to become an elite in your society but if you allow others to continue to refer to you as part of the masses then you will remain among the masses but you can turn things around! You can stop that abusive boyfriend from taking undue advantage of you everything and making you look like you are worth nothing and no other person will want you! He’s just a liar! If no other person wants you then what is he still doing with you? Let him get out of your life and you get a life then see if other people want you or not! Just go ahead with those business ideas that you have and stick to the game plan! Let people say what they want and talk for as long as they want to but never again make the mistake of waiting on their validation for you to do what you need to do in life!
Always remember that those whose validation you are seeking were not the ones who got the idea that you should be created and so they don’t know what stuff you are made of or what you are loaded with! You already have the validation that you need! If you are alive today I think that’s a form of validation from God saying, ‘you can’t die yet because you still have things in you that make you relevant to this world!’ What other form of validation do you need? Get a life and stop depending on the validation of others before you can do anything meaningful! If the positive validation comes fine but if it does not come then move on!
Fola Daniel Adelesi
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+234 803 416 3006
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